Abstinence Porn and Vampires

In an interview with USA Today, Stephen King came out and slagged Stephanie Meyers's _Twilight_ series, saying she "can't write worth a darn."

I couldn't agree more, although, in the interest of full disclosure: I'm a frustrated YA novelist. What? A tiny slice of schadenfreude never hurt anyone.

Just last night my friends and I were talking about _Twilight_ as "abstinence porn" and debating the relative merits thereof. Kenwyn said that there is a venerated place for teen romances that encourage romantic and sexy feelings but don't place demands on girls to do anything about those urges.

I think of how excited I used to get watching "The Outsiders," with all those yummy men and one delicious Diane Lane Cherry on top, and I can't help but agree.

And yet.

What I'd really love to see is the female version of "Porky's" or "American Pie." Because, y'know, girls have sex drives, too, and it's about time we celebrated that, taught our girls to pay attention to what feels good and cultivate it. Kenwyn's point was that abstinence porn is a kind of gateway drug that honors sexual feelings but in a safe way, for those girls who might not be ready to engage in sex play.

My point was that girls need media that focuses on the pleasures of their own bodies. Right now, the choices for teen female sexuality are either abstinence or objectification, and although objectification does confer a form of power when the sex object can successfully manipulate the viewer, neither is satisfying.

And I just don't buy that the anticipation of an event is better than the actual event. Idealization is not more exciting than the five senses. I love that Anne Sexton poem in which she describes God as wanting to have a body so he can come down to Earth and give it a bath now and then.

That being said, art is wonderful when it can prolong the tension between anticipation and gratification. But not for 300 pages, Ms. Meyers.

I loved Judy Blume's _Forever_ because the protagonist is responsible about sex but also wholeheartedly gets her rocks off. I can't think of too many YA novels in which there isn't some kind of consequence for the gorgeousness of sex, can you? I can't think of a single contemporary one.

In _Twilight_, the vampirism seems completely incidental to the thrust of the story. Any circumstance that would've prevented the main characters from getting together would've done just as well. Where's the blood? Where's the violence? Where's the existential agita? My newest favorite vampire novel is Scott Westerfeld's _Peeps_. It's the freshest treatment of the subject that I've seen in a long time. My second favorite is the Melissa de la Cruz _Blue Bloods_ books.